Government Structures

FEUDALISM:

You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM:

You had two cows. The government took both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:

You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM:

You have two cows. You take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.

MILITARISM:

The government takes both of your cows and drafts you.

DICTATORSHIP:

The government takes both of your cows and shoots
you. The presidents wife turns your cows into thousands of pairs of
shoes.

TINPOT DEMOCRACY:

The government takes both of your cows, shoots you and then sends the cows to Zurich.

PURE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:

The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.
After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate". The cows sue you for breach of contract.

OR

You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUSH DEMOCRACY:

The son of the last President promises to protect you and your two cows under an impenetrable "missile shield" if you vote for ...