When someone criticizes you at work, how much does it help? Do you get defensive? Or do you enthusiastically start changing your ways? 

Delivery is everything. The inner spiritual cores of both criticizer and criticized must be engaged positively for any worthwhile change to follow. 

Take this coaching conversation I had with Sarah, a VP Marketing executive, last week.

"My boss told me I'm too arrogant. Right out of the blue during a conversation. And it stung!" she said. "Ever since, I've been worrying what I could have done wrong."

"Ask yourself this instead," I interjected. "What's going on at the inner core of someone who uses the word arrogant toward a subordinate without warning?"

"He's definitely not calm and confident," she said. "He's defensive and angry. Probably because I didn't include him in the presentations I've been making about his business."

"So, who owns getting your two spiritual cores back engaged positively?"

"Okay, I get it. Telling me I'm arrogant is the symptom not the cause. I'll do my part. I'll go talk with him."

Thought for this week: Who is the real leader? Is it the person who fights for bigger and better, and drives the team forward irrespective of how they feel? Or is it the person who fights to preserve the sense of wholeness at the inner core of people so that all possible productive growth is achieved? Each time you give or receive criticism you make this choice. It shows in how you manage your own inner core.

Stephen

ANE's Spiritual Engagement improves Leadership Effectiveness and produces Sustained Business Performance.

www.anewequilibrium.org